I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
