I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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