You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
