I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Randomize