what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
