He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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