I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
