K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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