i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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