oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I deserve this hangover.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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