That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
