Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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