Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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