i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
