But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
im holly from the hills drunk
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
