Don't make out with my wife yet
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
