yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize