She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
