I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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