my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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