You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
