seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
