I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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