Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
