woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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