And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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