So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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