I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
