Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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