This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
