Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Randomize
