So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The beer is more important than you right now.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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