We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
