After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you traded sex for a burrito?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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