my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize