Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
