shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
organizing the empties. That sober.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
