Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
