Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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