yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
