Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i now understand why vodka
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
