There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
