This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
