She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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