your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
