they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My penis needs a shock collar
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize