Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
