dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
