david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
