I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
