the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
