Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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