So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
