When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
