Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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