"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
