Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
bring money and cleavage
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
