sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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