I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
