Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
